Movie Review: ‘Wild Horse Nine’ a Conspiracy Theorist’s Comedy Dream

(Photo Credit: Searchlight Pictures)

(“Wild Horse Nine” trailer courtesy of Searchlight Pictures)

Who really assassinated, or straight up murdered, former President John F. Kennedy, and why?

History says that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

Some say the mafia killed former President Kennedy.

Even imprisoned rapper Mystikal once bragged that he had killed the former POTUS in one of his songs in the late 1990s.

While many have theories, more specifically conspiracy theories, the full story remains a mystery to many because many stayed tight-lipped.

Others, like Jack Ruby, made sure that Oswald could not talk.

But what happens when someone who allegedly played a role in the killing in Dallas in 1963 becomes loose-lipped late in life?

Getting away with an assassination for so many decades means nothing if one of the players becomes demented, in addition to becoming hell-bent on publishing their memoirs about what it was like working for the CIA.

Well, that is the conundrum that Lee (Sam Rockwell) and MJ (Steve Buscemi) find themselves in as Chris (John Malkovich) enters the sunset of his career and his life.

Those who have experience caring for the elderly often say that senior citizens will say whatever is on their minds, regardless of the consequences.

To make matters worse, if they begin experiencing cognitive decline, they will often say anything and everything, whether true or not.

In “Wild Horse Nine,” Chris’ talkative nature could put many people, agencies and countries in peril because some things are classified for a reason.

People often believe whatever their favorite media personality or politician tells them.

Therefore, it is often easy to hide the truth from people who do not like using their critical thinking skills.

But the scariest thing about John and his declining state is that it is hard to tell if he is serious or if he is just an old man in mental decline.

Therefore, when he tells two lovely young women that their young democracy in Chile will soon crumble, it could easily be taken as foolishness and folly coming from an old fart.

However, Chris’ colleagues know that this old fart still has a few marbles left in him.

But they must make sure he does not spill all the marbles before things play out on the world stage.

In “Wild Horse Nine,” Lee is accompanying Chris on a bucket list trip to Easter Island before his number comes up.

Like many sick and elderly people, Chris is pondering if he will make it into Heaven, or if his past deeds will keep him barred from entering the pearly gates.

Although Chris seems like a nice and innocent old man, he has been killing people longer than his partner Lee has been alive.

In fact, he is not shy about his resume because he explains his past killings while on an airplane full of people.

Although Chris seems off his rocker, he has not lost his mojo just yet.

He notices people possibly following him.

He knows he cannot trust everyone.

He just needs to discern who to trust and who not to trust.

But his mental state might work to his advantage because his colleagues might believe he is totally off his rocker.

However, people who take care of elderly people with dementia will often say they have moments when they are as sharp as a tack.

Unfortunately, they sometimes follow those moments with moments of total confusion.

Therefore, it is up to Chris to use his mental state to his advantage, while simultaneously trying to make up for some of his past heinous acts with a few acts of kindness before it is too late.

Being elderly and experiencing cognitive decline definitely has its advantages.

That elderly person can pretend not to hear something because many people already believe elderly people are hard of hearing.

If an elderly person says something outrageous, younger people might chalk that up to normal aging or cognitive decline.

But if that elderly person still has some of their past intelligence, they can use that to their advantage.

When people think a person is out of their mind, they often say whatever they want around them because they do not think the person understands.

Elderly CIA agents who are experiencing cognitive decline can throw information out there like a trial balloon to see if the other person bites on the bad information.

That way, the elderly person can determine who is trustworthy and who is not.

In “Wild Horse Nine,” Chris often says off-the-wall nonsense.

Therefore, it is difficult to determine what is true and what is not.

But maybe that is how Chris wants it.

In “Wild Horse Nine,” Malkovich plays Chris in a wonderful, entertaining but sinister way.

And even though “Wild Horse Nine” is clever, cunning and hilarious in a dry way, without really trying to be, it deals with something heavier than the assassination of a politician, believe it or not.

“Wild Horse Nine” deals with the cost of sin, power and murder, and how that comprises the soul, even if a person pretends they committed those sins out of love for their country and/or patriotism.

Regardless of the reasoning behind someone’s diabolical behavior, they still must answer for their past deeds on the day of judgment.

And as one begins to experience the sunset of their life, it is normal to ponder one’s past, especially if the goal is to reach paradise in one’s afterlife.

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Todd A. Smith
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