(Photo Credit: NEON)
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(“The Monkey” trailer courtesy of NEON)
The pop group, The Monkees.
Michael Jackson’s monkey, Bubbles.
The song “Monkey” by George Michael.
Monkey business can be a “mofo.”
And monkey business can be outrageous and gory, as evident in the horror movie “The Monkey.”
In any credible horror movie, a creepy doll must be involved somehow.
No matter what the victims or potential victims do, they can never rid themselves of the creepy doll that is wreaking havoc on their lives.
In “The Monkey,” guess what type of doll is running roughshod over Young Hal (Christian Convery), his twin brother Young Bill and their mother, Lois (Tatiana Maslany)?
That is right, a monkey.
Growing up with a single mother, after their father abandons the family, Young Hal and Young Bill do not have many things to remember about their father.
However, their father has left them a bunch of knickknacks to play with.
One of the items is, arguably, the ugliest toy monkey ever created.
And this is no ordinary monkey.
When the key on the monkey’s back is turned, the monkey begins to smile and eventually plays a drum.
However, when the monkey starts playing the drum, tragedy often follows.
Monkey business from a toy monkey is just one more thing that Young Hal must deal with.
His older twin brother Young Bill could not be more different than him.
Bill is the cool brother who is determined to marry their babysitter Annie (Danica Dreyer) one day.
The older twin has a closer relationship with their mother.
And he is more popular than Hal at school.
In “The Monkey,” Bill even gets the girls at the schoolhouse to relentlessly bully Hal.
The younger twin occasionally comes home without his pants because the girls have taken them.
So, every day of Hal’s life, he must endure hell from his brother, his classmates and his new toy that somehow finds its way back to Hal even though he desperately tries to discard the monkey.
Unfortunately, bullied kids sometimes accept their fate in life and just learn how to deal with the humiliation.
But when Hal realizes that he can use the monkey to get revenge on his foes, he might have just found a new lease on life.
Unfortunately, the monkey has a mind of its own and does not take requests on whom to harm.
As a result, Young Hal might have put his entire family in danger forever.
Fast forward 20 years, and the monkey business that haunted Hal’s (Theo James) family is in the rearview mirror.
After Young Hal and Young Bill bury that dreaded monkey, it seems as if they escaped a horrific fate.
In “The Monkey,” Hal has a solid job.
He is estranged from his son Petey (Colin O’Brien).
However, that is by design.
Hal feels that if he can keep his family from his past, then they can escape the horrors he and his brother endured as children.
But Petey cannot understand why his biological father does not want to spend time with him.
His stepfather, Ted (Elijah Wood), is a good role model for Petey.
Ted even wants to adopt Petey.
But Petey still wants to get to know his real father before Ted becomes his legal father.
Petey is currently doing a school assignment that requires him to build a family tree.
Therefore, when the father and son get together, Petey hopes to learn more about his paternal lineage.
In “The Monkey,” Hal plans an exciting trip with his son, which includes motel stays and amusement park rides.
But when he gets some family news from Maine, protecting Petey from his horrific past becomes priority number one for Hal.
The actual monkey in “The Monkey” is the epitome of creepiness.
The movie “The Monkey” is outrageous.
It is comical, possibly unintentionally.
Unfortunately, “The Monkey” is not very scary.
The monkey attacks in the most bizarre ways.
And the most unlikely people become the victims of his savagery.
“The Monkey” is not mediocre.
But it is just slightly above average.
“The Monkey” succeeds in ways that it probably did not intend to, though.
The fractured relationship between Hal and Petey is as real as it gets, especially when a stepparent is thrown into the mix.
Often, children do not always understand why their parents make certain decisions.
However, a good parent will make difficult decisions that might upset their children if they know it will benefit the kids in the long run.
Many times, protection from the realities of life can cause friction in the relationship.
But, when the child realizes why his parents do what they do, a new appreciation should lead to a better relationship.
In “The Monkey,” Hal might destroy his relationship with his son just so his past will not destroy his son’s future.
“The Monkey” also shows how other relatives fill in the gaps when a parent can no longer care for their child.
Unfortunately, family dysfunction does not always come from elders.
It could come from younger members of the family.
And it could become deadly.
Despite familial love, “The Monkey” is sometimes too ridiculous.
The film has guts.
It has gore.
It has lots of blood.
It might even have some beheadings.
Unfortunately, it does not have much horror.
So, unless people have extra time for monkey business this weekend, it might be better to monkey around with something else.
REGAL RATINGS
FOUR CROWNS=EXCELLENT
THREE CROWNS=GOOD
TWO CROWNS=AVERAGE
ONE CROWN=POOR
