(Todd A. Smith)
I don’t claim credit for all my good story ideas.
I give credit where credit is due.
Therefore, shout out to “The Isiah Factor Uncensored” talk show on Fox 26 Houston (KRIV) for broaching the topic: can Black and White people truly be friends?
The conversation stemmed from the death of Nolan Wells, 18, on Horn Island, Miss., on July 4.
Wells took a boat with some White companions to the island to enjoy the 250thbirthday of our nation.
But he never made it back, as his dead body washed up two days later.
From the looks of the pictures taken on the boat, Wells was the only Black person on that boat.
All the White teenagers, who attended high school with Wells, made it back home.
The only person not to survive the trip was Wells.
The White teenagers said that Wells began talking to a young lady and decided to stay on the island, while the White teenagers headed inland.
However, the young lady said that Wells told her he would head back with his group of friends.
Since Wells’ death, the White males and their parents have told conflicting stories that have been contradicted by Wells’ parents, like how they gained possession of Wells’ cell phone.
The teenagers said they returned Wells’ phone to his mother.
But his mother said she had been tracking his phone via Life 360, and his whereabouts contradicted what the young White men had been saying about Wells’ decisions and ultimate fate.
Back to the question at hand.
Can Black people and White people truly be friends?
Yes.
But the true question is what the definition of a friend is.
Without using Webster’s or Google to cheat, my definition of a friend is a family member that you choose.
The closest bond a person should have is with their family members.
Although family members do not always get along, when push comes to shove, they show up for each other and have each other’s backs.
They are not dismissive of a family member’s well-being.
And they will come to that person’s defense if someone abuses them.
When a person has nothing, they can lean on a family member.
When they need a place to stay, they always have a roof over their heads.
When you are in pain, they are empathetic to your pain, even doing whatever they can to alleviate that pain.
If someone does you wrong, it is as if that person did your relative wrong too.
And no matter what happens, good or bad, that family relationship and love pick right back up, no matter how long you may be estranged from that person.
Those same qualities and dynamics should describe a true friend.
I have a few friends who happen to be White, who fit the above qualities to a T.
Whenever my pockets get a little short, they put something in my wallet.
Whenever I am in town, I do not need to worry about a place to stay.
I don’t have to worry about my next meal.
I don’t have to worry about them blocking my shine.
In fact, they do whatever is in their power to get me to the next level businesswise, so I can shine even brighter.
And if someone does me wrong, they will probably have my back.
I say probably because I have witnessed how they respond to racism, bigotry and prejudice aimed at other Black people.
I have seen them call out White supremacy.
I have seen them value Black lives and pour into the lives of young Black children, who may not have the privileges that their children enjoy.
Therefore, if the life and livelihood of Black strangers matter to them, my life and livelihood definitely matter to them.
Race notwithstanding, many people do not have an abundance of true friends based on my aforementioned definition.
Many people have acquaintances, homeboys, homegirls, co-workers, neighbors, church members and associates.
Most people have people who enjoy their company.
But a true friend shows up when things get thick.
Wells’ friends, who accompanied him, were his former classmates.
While they may have been cool when they were in high school, many White people I went to high school with eventually showed their true feelings toward Black people.
Those people were just classmates.
And when we stopped having classes together, the relationships eventually ended.
The real friends are those who find a reason to remain in your life.
A real friendship will present itself as time goes by.
Unfortunately, Wells did not live long enough to find out who his real friends were.
Furthermore, it may be the reason it cost him his life.
Discernment will let a person know who their real friends are.
However, people sometimes ignore discernment because they want to see the good in everybody.
While Wells’ death should be a lesson to all Black people, do not let it make you believe that everyone in a particular group is a fake friend because that is not always true.
But discernment will teach you who is real and who is a fraud.
Pay attention to how your White friends respond to discrimination against your people.
Pay attention to how your White friends respond to racial jokes.
And pay attention to what they say about your people.
If they have good things to say about you, like you’re the exception to the rule, ask them what their rule is.
And if you do not like the rules that they play by, stop getting played and leave them alone.
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