A King Needs His Queen
“We as people—men—in my experience, we are told we are superior to women, they come from our ribs and this and that,” Mike Tyson told ESPN The Magazine. “That’s all our insecurity, to make us feel like someone, like a slave master. I’m so happy to reach a stage in my life, a paradigm shift. Everything I did believe was a…lie.”
The stage that Tyson has reached, and all men should hope to reach, is to know that a belief in male superiority is asinine, and vice versa.
However, if God blesses you with that special someone to share your life with that you are both one flesh, which means that no one can be superior or inferior to themselves. And although men should be the head (leader) of the household, a head without its ribs or heart is not a complete individual.
Many Christian men totally misunderstand the meaning of head of the household. They falsely believe that God has ordained male superiority and that having their wife submit to them means that she is an inferior element in the equation of marriage.
Some believe that since man preceded a woman in biblical times then that means that men are somehow superior to women in God’s eye. However, if a woman was created from the rib of a man then that means women came from us. So how can we possibly believe that we are better than ourselves?
Male superiority and the need to control a woman comes from a man’s own selfishness and insecurity. Many men do not feel in control in the workplace, etc. so they have the need to feel superior in their own home.
However, God made women (for men) because there are certain qualities and attributes that many men do not have. And while a true leader makes the final decision, a wise leader will consult with his trusted advisors before following through on that decision.
The president of the United States makes decisions that affect an entire nation, but that person surrounds himself with a vice president and a Cabinet, because other people are more versed in certain areas, and the president needs their input before making crucial decisions.
Together they complete the entire executive branch of the government; the president does not complete it himself, nor does the Cabinet or vice president.
The United States of America also has a system of checks and balance, which allows someone or something to stop the leader if he somehow abuses his power.
The same dynamic should exist within the family structure.
The husband should be the leader and the wife should be consulted before the leader follows through with a decision.
Furthermore, if the leader really begins “smelling” himself, his wife should be able to check his ego so the balance of power is not overwhelmingly one-sided.
A false sense of male superiority has led to marriages being out of whack for generations according to Rev. Ricardo Archibald from The Church Without Walls in Houston.
The traditional marriage was usually oppressive for women. The husband was seen as the king, with only his own personal benefits in mind. This marriage model led to men usually feeling like winners in a marriage, with their wife being on the losing end of the equation.
Next, the identical marriage meant that the husband and wife were equal partners. This usually led to a leaderless household, which created a difficult balance (which according to Archibald fails 90 percent of the time).
Archibald believes that the true structure of a marriage should be a side-by-side marriage, where the husband and wife truly become one flesh. Although the husband is the leader, true leadership comes from sacrifice and responsibility to the family.
In this model, male superiority and female superiority is thrown out of the window. The role of the husband (head) is to be a servant leader, while the role of the wife (helper) is to be a servant-lover.
Your wife should be your executive branch; your trusted advisor, your vice president and your cabinet.
However, if you abuse your power and fall victim to a false sense of male superiority, they can also become the legislative branch, judicial branch and the voting public.
When presidents get out of line, they can face impeachment; just ask Presidents Andrew Johnson and Bill Clinton.
And if impeachment does not get you kicked out of office (or your happy home), your woman can vote you out of office and elect a new man for the position you once held, just ask Presidents Jimmy Carter and George H.W. Bush.
Unfortunately, it takes some men longer than others to realize that male superiority is a farce and a king needs a queen to complete himself.
It took Tyson until he was in his forties to come to that realization.
How long will it take you?