When I Think of Home…

            Are the dishes washed; check.  Is the food in the oven; check.  Are the kids taking a nap; check.  Are the clothes washed; check.  Is the house clean before the WIFE gets home from a hard day’s work?  What…wait?

            Yes, it is 2013 and the roles for husbands and wives are often reversed with the wife being the breadwinner and more and more men forced to become or choosing to be a stay-at-home husband.  While it is still not the norm, 2.7 percent of men classify themselves as a full-time stay-at-home husband, according to Slate.com. 

            But how should men feel about it with our fragile egos and machismo?  We say we do not want gold diggers, but can we handle it if society saw us as the gold digger and our wife as the victim? 

Truthfully, men should not have a problem with being a stay-at-home husband if it is in the best interest of your marriage and family.  And using old stereotypes to define your relationship will only lead to it not reaching its God-given potential.

            For centuries, the man has stereotypically been the financial provider for the family.  The job of many women was to take care of the home and raise the children. 

            However, as women began to seek higher education and career growth, the roles reversed tremendously.  Women are now more likely to have a college degree than men on every continent except Africa, according to Slate.com.  Furthermore, Slate.com said that about 40 percent of American wives now out-earn their husbands financially.

            Working with Slate.com, Hanna Rosin conducted surveys on how men and women viewed stay-at-home husbands and the impact role reversals played on their marriage. 

            Approximately one-third of women said that their husbands were self-conscious about earning less money.  Many men felt apprehensive about not working and some got emotional when they passed a work area and saw men at construction sites. 

Many women felt that dating someone on their financial level became more like competition because all they discussed was work, but some women felt disgusted that they had to be the breadwinner for the family.

            The Bible often talks about couples becoming one flesh.  In Ephesians 5:31, it says that a man should leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife and the two should become one flesh.

            Often, people misinterpret biblical gender roles when they speak of a man being the head of the household.  Yes, a man should be the head of the household, but what does that really mean? 

It does not mean that a man is superior over a woman, but it does mean that a man should be a leader in his family and he does that by sacrificing his personal agenda for the betterment of his loved-ones.

            When one thinks of true leaders, often leaders who sacrificed their lives like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., President John F. Kennedy and Malcolm X come to mind.  They were willing to sacrifice everything for the betterment of their followers.  That is the kind of sacrificial leadership God is wanting from the men of the world.

            If a husband and wife are truly one flesh, it should not matter who brings home the bacon and who fries it because they are one flesh united in the same goal.  If a woman makes a large amount of money and it makes sense for the man to be a stay-at-home husband, then that man should sacrifice his ego for the betterment of his family.

            Furthermore, if a man is going through hard financial times because of economic conditions and his wife is carrying the financial burden, it is incumbent on that man to pick up the slack domestically so that his woman feels appreciated and revered every time she comes in from a hard day’s work.

            A true leader must learn how to humble himself and serve. 

The Bible often talks about a servant-leader and if a man must wash the dishes, change the diapers and cook the meals to effectively lead his family, then pride and ego should not get in the way; even if that means being a full-time stay-at-home husband.

Leave a Reply