From the Mind of an Endless Thinker
“Compete”
Every time I think about
All the little freaky things you do
Make me wanna touch you girl
You make me wanna rush all into you
Even though I'm hanging out
Just page me girl
That's all you gotta do
Never had a love so good and baby
I'm glad that you're my boo
Let's make love
(Whoa, like the very, very, very, first time)
I wanna make love
The year was 1999 when R&B group Silk gave the blueprint to the ladies on how to keep their man satisfied with those lyrics from the song “Let’s Make Love,” and they were oh so true then as they are now.
Contrary to many beliefs based on the songs of today that tell of men desiring to cheat, (i.e., “I left home to be with my sidepiece,”) or the people we know that have cheated, and the alarming divorce rate in America which is approximately 50 percent, men actually want to stay committed.
Pause.
Well, some do.
So if that’s the case why do men cheat?
Women always ask, but Steve Harvey gave the ladies a majority of the answer.
The answer can vary from man to man but this isn’t about cheating.
It’s about competing and finding ways to please your man.
Yes, I said competing.
Men are raised and wired to compete.
It is what he knows.
Starting from a young age he competes to see who can hold their breath longer under water to adulthood seeing who can own more “toys.”
He competes because he wants to win.
In relationships he does the same thing.
As men we should be striving to be the best man, husband and father that we can be, and we want our women to do the same thing.
Whether you have a spouse, long-term significant other, or a friend with benefits it doesn’t matter.
He wants to be satisfied physically, emotionally and spiritually.
My mind only wants to focus on the physical right now, and in later articles I will draw my attention to the many other aspects it takes to keep a man satisfied.
The question you have to ask yourself is am I finding ways to please my man?
Ladies please understand this, when your man leaves the house or apartment that you share, he is entering into an ocean not just filled with other fish but blood thirsty sharks that are looking for just 1/3 of a good man to devour.
If you’ve ever watched an episode of “Shark Week” on the Discovery Channel you know exactly what I mean.
Compete.
You packed his lunch, reminded him of the errands he needs to run when he gets off work, and even gave him a half kiss before he left out the door.
But did you send him on his merry way with his sex odometer on E.
Silk told you in the very first verse, “Every time I think about all the little freaky things you do.”
First clue. Put something on his mind.
He can float through the ocean and not worry about the other fish in the sea and swim away from the sharks when he has something sexual to remember.
You have heard the saying “good girls ain’t no fun” but yet you’re making love to him like you are not in competition.
Pause.
I hear you saying, “I’m not in competition,” as you roll neck or flip your hair. “He can go.”
News flash, you are in competition and the other competitors are getting a lot of practice.
Think about how much time he spends away from you compared to how much time he has with you.
The sharks are sharpening their teeth.
They are circling their prey (your boo) talking about all the lovely things they would like to do to your man and pleasing him in the ways he wishes you would.
The things you don’t say and the things you don’t do, finding ways to please your man.
What’s ironic is a lot of times your fins and teeth are bigger than theirs but you’re not using yours.
He is a visual creature so while they are dressing to impress, heels, nails and hair on point with lingerie from Victoria’s Secret, you are buying yours by the pack at Walmart.
Don’t get complacent. Compete.
Do you know what your man likes? His desires or fantasies? Have you fulfilled any of them?
Most men are not asking you to be Diamond from the strip club but they want to feel wanted. Desired to the point where you compete to be better in the bedroom.
He wants you to bring spice, passion, sensuality or a change of pace.
Remember all those little freaky things you did. Break the monotony.
Make him say, “I have never had a love so good, baby I’m glad you’re my boo.”
So maybe you are thinking how do you compete or how do you find ways to please your man?
Talk to him and he will most likely tell you to practice. Yes, Allen Iverson I am talking about practice.
If you’re not good at a certain act tell him you want to practice until you perfect your craft.
It is an art you know.
Be willing to be intimate almost anytime and anywhere and you suggest it sometimes.
Ladies, bring the passion as if you were going to die tomorrow and you want him to remember you for the rest of his life.
He wants to make love like it’s the very, very, very, first time.
You may never be Karrine Steffans, but he will respect and enjoy your efforts.
In this case a close second does count.
Compete.
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