Free Newsletter:

Grooves of Houston - Houston's Premier Upscale Nightspot

Movie Review: 'Jupiter Ascending' Never Ascends

by Todd A. Smith


Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean and David Ajala (left to right) at Los Angeles premiere of “Jupiter Ascending” on Feb. 2 (Photo Credit: Eric Charbonneau/Invision for Warner Bros./AP Images).


Jupiter Descending



When my grandmother would ask her friend “Taloot” how her children were doing, “Taloot” would respond, “Miss Mazie, dem ole chillun gettin’ worser, and worser, worser.”

Educated people know that dem, chillun and worser are not words, but unfortunately I’m not educated enough to come up with adjectives to describe how bad “Jupiter Ascending” starring Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum actually is.

Unfortunately, “Jupiter Ascending” starts off bad and gets worser, and worser and worser as time goes on.

It is hard to follow the plot and even harder not to fall into a deep slumber.

Producers of “Jupiter Ascending” state that, “Unbeknown to Earth’s residents, life on Earth and countless other planets has been seeded by families of alien royalty for the purpose of harvesting the evolved living creatures once they reach a ‘Darwinian state of perfection’ to produce a type of youth serum that allows them to live forever.  When the matriarch of the House of Abrasax, the most powerful of the alien dynasties, dies her children Balem (Eddie Redmayne), Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) and Titus (Douglas Booth) are at war over the heir.  Eventually, a new heir comes to their attention; Jupiter Jones (Kunis), an unsuspecting Earth-living, unlucky caretaker of other people’s homes.  Jupiter encounters Caine Wise (Tatum), a genetically engineered interplanetary warrior, who came to Earth to reveal that her genetic signature makes Jones royalty and heir to Earth.  Meanwhile, he has to protect her from Balem, who put a bounty on her head and would rather harvest Earth than to lose it to Jones.”

It was necessary to use production notes to describe “Jupiter Ascending” because the film is all over the place and hard to follow.

However, even though the substance is missing from the movie, The Wachowskis are great with style.

The film is beautiful visually especially the candle scene.  Each planet is unique and visually appealing too.

Furthermore, the fighting scenes are adequate.

Unfortunately, that is where the compliments end.

The Wachowskis casted some of Hollywood’s most talented actors in Redmayne, Kunis and Tatum, but their talents are lost because of the lackluster script.

It does not help that the Wachowskis have “The Matrix” on their resume because all of their subsequent films will be compared to it and it is hard to live up to a classic.

When your first films are not your best, filmmakers like all professionals, have the luxury of getting better and better with their craft.

Unfortunately, when one starts their career so strong it is very difficult not to get worse because what goes up must come down.  As a result, “Jupiter Ascending” actually descends, not ascends. 







This article was published on Friday 06 February, 2015.
Current Comments: 0
Write Review

Back to main topic: Science Fiction
Magazine Topics:
New Articles
All Topics
 About Us ->
 Archives ->
 Business ->
 Community ->
 Entertainment ->
   Black Hollywood
   Celebrity Interviews
   Celebrity News
   Film ->
     Academy Awards
     Action Comedy
     Action Films
     Allegorical Films
     Based on a True Story
     Book Adaptations
     Buddy Comedies
     Children's Movies
     Comedy/Romantic Comedy
     Comic Book Movies
     Coming of Age Films
     Crime Movies
     Criminal Movies
     Dark Comedy
     DC Comic Films
     Documentary Films
     Dramatic Films
     DVD Reviews
     Feel Good Movies
     Gangster Flicks
     Heist Films
     Historical Dramas
     Holiday Films
     Horror Films
     Inspirational Films
     Live Action
     Martial Arts Films
     Marvel Films
     More Satire
     Music Biopics
     Organized Crime Movies
     Period Pieces
     Psychological Thrillers
     Regal Movie Awards
     Religious Films
     Science Fiction
     Space Movies
     Sports Films
     Sports Movies
     Spy Films
     Superhero Movies
     Suspense Movies
     True Stories
     War Films
     War Movies
     Zombie Movies
   Live Productions
   Most Beautiful Women of the Year
   Music ->
   Pop Culture
   Regal Roundtable
   Stand Up Comedy
   Television ->
 Lifestyle ->
 Opinion ->
 Regal Queens
 Sports ->
Articles RSS Feed