The Perfect Woman

By Tisha L. Smith



            Is there such a thing as the “perfect woman?”  To the Black man, what constitutes perfection?  Perfection can be defined many ways, but is it actually obtainable?  Hollywood and the music industry have a lot to do with this image.

A woman can be a perfect ten or a “dime” by her beauty alone.  Maybe it’s her body.  Her intelligence.  The length of her hair.  Possibly the shade of her skin.  On the other hand, all of these things wrapped up into one package.

Ask yourself this question.  Are you a “Halle Man,” a “Beyonce Man,” or a “Janet Man?”  Most Black men would probably pick one of the three.  Nevertheless, for some Black men, they would not pick any of these entertainment icons.  Why are they not good enough?

White women are slowly but surely stimulating the interest of many Black men.  Some may do it out of pure curiosity.  Some because of status.  Some because they say that the “sistahs” just do not do it for them anymore.  Are these just excuses or valid points?

“My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none.  As he said they were too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage,” said Disgusted White Girl, a reader of Sister 2 Sister Magazine.  Is this how some Black men really feel about the Black woman?

Some Black men fail to realize that if it were not for the Black woman, they would not be where they are today.  Most Black men owe their success to a strong Black woman in their family that taught them how to be the man that they are today.  So does that mean you are degrading the women in your family if you agree with the stereotypes that come with the Black women?

Just like with all stereotypes, it may apply to some of the people it targets, but never all.  Black men are victims to stereotypes everyday; they’re all lazy and don’t want to work, been in jail at least once in their life, have more than one baby mama, are all thugs, etc………. the list goes on and on.  If you do not like those stereotypes, then why stereotype our women?

Black women probably have it harder than anyone does because not only do they face degradation by other races, but now by some of our own men.  There is nothing wrong with liking what you like, but don’t belittle someone else to justify it.  Black women have stood behind Black men since the beginning of time.  Maybe it is time for the tables to turn.

“Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date White women because they are docile and easy to control.  A lot of Black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Black women.  We are afraid that our women will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses.  Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman.  Someone we can control,” said Black Royalty in response to Disgusted White Girl.

Even though there are some brothers who have chosen White women to be there mates such as Cuba Gooding Jr., Scottie Pippen, Sidney Poitier, and James Earl Jones to name a few, there are several brothers who have found their queens through “sistahs” such as Will Smith, Bill Cosby, Magic Johnson, and Denzel Washington.

White men are beginning to realize the beauty and perfection in the “sistahs” as well such as David Bowie, Paul Wall, Robert DeNiro, and Robin Thicke.      


            Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder and everyone is entitled to his or her definition of what a “dime” is.  Be true to yourself and never expect more than what you can give.  Don’t you think it is only fair to ask for a “perfect ten” when you are one yourself?  The “Perfect Woman” also wants the “Perfect Man.”  How do you rate?

Smith is a writer for Regal Black Men’s Magazine.


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