The Magic behind Men and Commitment

Women often ask me, how long should they wait for a man to make a commitment?

It seems like they have the impression that men avoid commitment, relationships, and marriages as if they were the plague.

Now in some cases this is true.

According to Dr. Phil, men don’t commit because it’s “easier than ever to get sex without marriage.”

But if we look deeper into the question, we can better understand men and commitment.

Men must be ready in order to commit, even though women don’t want to waste time dealing with the waiting game.  

Patience is a virtue

Men will settle down on their own terms. At the end of the day, that is the hard truth.

When it comes to men and commitment, men do not make whirlwind decisions about the women they choose, and the type of relationship they commit to.

Men will usually keep their options open just in case something better opens up. This is what some women fail to realize. 

Thomas Child said, “I don’t cuff for a season, I cuff for a reason, 100 degrees or freezing, once I’m with you there’s no leaving;” which means, a man is not going to settle unless he finds a woman that meets his standards.  

You have to be that kind of woman who will be commitment material.

As I’ve stated before, some men avoid commitment like the plague, but this should not be indicative of all men. 


When it comes to men and commitment, a man’s fear of commitment might be valid.

Every guy has his own agenda with specific goals, interests, and ideas. Women must know that in order to get a commitment from a man, she must have a similar agenda or at least one that will gel together nicely.

Some may say that men end up losing the perfect girl, the ideal job, or a better future by keeping their options open. But in all honesty, it takes several elements to really determine if that statement holds value.

Denzel Duruji said, “(It) depends on the dynamics of the relationship you know. Some people are ‘sooo’ compatible they kick it off right away. Some take longer than usual. But I think the woman should have a better understanding of how long she’s willing to wait. Some have waited six years before they got the ring; some more, some less.”  

What to Do?

I believe women should set the standards of what they want early on in a relationship whether it is short term, long term, or an unknown term.

At the same time, women must also understand that you must be patient when it comes to men and commitment.  

Often, people have to feel each other out and grow together before things can truly kick off.

In the words of the great Ritu Ghatourey, “The problem with relationships today is people let loneliness drive them into the arms of someone they dont even love.

Don’t let this be you.  If you’re wondering about finding the right time, look within your heart and see if he values you as that type of woman.

Leave a Reply