Can a Christian Single Male Avoid Having Sex?

By Ed Houston

If you turned the pages back in my life when I entered the corporate world, you would behold a fresh young-eyed kid poised to exchange a lack of maturity for pure youthful energy. I was technically a Christian but found myself compromising my beliefs within my new job in order to fit. I did not want people to think I was weird or some sort of religious fanatic, so I downplayed God. I wanted to be liked and very much so by women.

Slowly and subtly, I started to stray from Christian abstinence. I started to say things like, “Um yeah, I can make that happy hour with you guys, but I do not drink or chase women…I’ll check out that movie with you guys, I am OK if it has only a little nudity…Let’s watch that playoff game; I can skip this Sunday church services; I’ll pick it back up next week.” Weeks turned into months and then one day I woke up and BAM!  I found myself looking on the other side of my bed wondering, “What is she doing here?”  

In response to the answer to the title heading of this article, let me ascribe a few questions for you to consider and let me say we are not headed off topic. Is it possible to avoid maxing out your credit cards on useless spending? Is it possible to avoid exceeding the posted speed limit while driving? Is it possible to avoid overeating to the point of obesity?  I am not speaking of Christian abstinence as a one-time only infraction or life’s slip-ups. The direction I am addressing is about the pattern that can sneak up in your life and take you down a dark slippery slope.  Before you have a chance to ask where the safety rails are, you’re in warp speed in a down-hill motion with accompanying life vices.

I am reminded of the scriptures that we are wonderfully created in the image of God and our words and actions carry significant consequences in our everyday world. God spoke the heavens into existence. Our voice (man of God) carries the authority to choose… how much to spend… how much to eat… how fast to drive. Even when it comes to the matter of sex, it is one of the most powerful drives a man has in his arsenal and God intended it to be this way in order for us to seed life. However, with this incredible power comes much responsibility and Christian abstinence is not to be taken lightly. Looking back, Jesus was under the horrid dread of his life on the cross being crucified for all humanity.  He had the power to unleash his fury on his accusers for pleasure, but he didn’t give way to his physical desire.  He remained in the Father’s will (thank God).

Certainly, with time I have learned to harness this sacred power with control and pattern my life’s action according to God’s words of wisdom. Which ushered me to the conclusion to challenge today’s tolerant position on this subject and to accept the resolve that our internal design is to aim toward Christian abstinence until marriage. No matter if I am tempted or stumble, in my pursuit of Christian abstinence I am conscious of the fact God’s love is our safety net. From the time I was shaky at learning how to ride a bicycle to the time of adult hood wondering if I could survive on my own.  There have been frustrations, failures and wrong turns and the subtle thoughts of, would I ever get this right?

I challenge all Christian single men to choose Christian abstinence and to not look at sex as loosely as a yearly wardrobe change, but as a sacred gift with ultimate power for life giving and pleasure. God will honor you for your meekness (power under control) demonstrated toward his free gift. On your wedding night your wife will reward you for your Christian abstinence stance the way only a wife can do.

Houston is a contributing writer for Regal Black Men’s Magazine and the author of the book Single and Living Free.

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