How to Overcome Jealousy in a Relationship

By Bruce Brown

The Warm up…

Experiencing jealousy on a daily basis can be problematic.

What is interesting is that jealousy has a way of driving both partners beyond crazy in the shortest amount of time.

Face it, no woman wants to be around a difficult person who turns every event into something negative. Men, who are chronically jealous or suspicious, often rush into things without taking sufficient time to think and they misinterpret what is actually going on.

As a result, many relationships fail and never reach its full potential. So how do you overcome jealousy in a relationship? To be fair, overcoming jealousy in a relationship is a lot easier said than done for most.

Insecurity in a man can hinder his ability to use the gifts of logic, common sense, and calmness.

Nevertheless, it is better to accept your feelings of jealousy rather than brush them under a rug. Too many people I know will not accept their jealous feelings and live in denial. You can hide the fact from yourself, but women can easily see when you feel jealous or insecure.

Therefore, it is better to acknowledge the feeling honestly. By doing this, you will be ready to understand how to overcome jealousy in a relationship.

Stop Jumping to Conclusions

You will never understand how to overcome jealousy in a relationship by repeatedly jumping to conclusions. 

For most men, it only creates irrational thinking. This usually occurs when one attaches a current situation with something negative in the past. Once something triggers the negativity, the emotional part of the mind takes over while the logical part of the mind fades to black. 

At this point, jealousy can sky rocket to obsessive jealousy and turn women completely off.  

Lifestyle blogger Katie Young expressed her take on jealousy stating that, “Obsessive jealousy is a turnoff, and I would also worry about the kind of woman who would be attracted to a display of that much jealousy.”

The underlying message would be to stop assuming the worst. Assume the best about your partner and her faithfulness to you until you have real reasons to believe otherwise.

Nourish Your Self-Esteem

Confidence, or lack thereof, can make or break a man and his ability to attract and keep a woman.

When insecure thoughts enter your head, try to push them out. Do little things that will enable you to feel good about yourself.  

Little by little, your confidence will build, and you’ll care less about what another man is up to.

Granted, everyday is not going to be filled with sunshine and lollipops. There will be times when you will fall short and feel self pity. However, the key is not to cry over spilled milk. The object is to learn from your mistakes and better yourself so that you will not make the same mistake again.

Building and nourishing your self-esteem is a lifestyle and should not be seen as a destination.  When learning how to overcome jealousy in a relationship, it is best to give yourself room to grow and food for thought.

Stop living in Denial

Let’s be clear, recognizing that you have a jealousy problem does not make you weak.

In fact, it is genuinely the first step towards fixing the problem and making it a thing of the past.

Most people with chronic jealousy refuse to admit that their behavior is out of line and unacceptable.

Having jealousy issues will only create a foundation built with a lack of trust. Without trust, there will be no peace between you and your lady.  

Learning how to overcome jealousy in a relationship will become second nature once you separate yourself from your own understanding.  Although others may catch her eye, you are the one that caught her heart. So protect it. Be comfortable in your own skin and know that you are winning.

The rewards of dealing with and overcoming jealousy will make your future relationships much more successful.

Brown is a contributing writer for Regal Magazine, a publication dedicated to the African American community

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