Unfortunately, many women have to deal with the realities of an unwanted pregnancy alone.

Roe v. Men

By Renee Rivon

There are many problems that couples face, but how many of those problems are supported by the law? There is one problem couples may face that the law only protects one side…Abortion.

In the past, equal rights weren’t really equal for women, so they started their own movement to fight for a more equal society. 

It was against the law for women to vote, get a divorce and they were considered property of their husbands. Thanks to the feminist movement, women can vote, be CEO of a major company and even be allowed to do things that others don’t agree with, have an abortion.

Roe v. Wade gave women the right to choose what to do with their unborn babies and recognized their constitutional right to privacy.

That means no one on the outside looking in can tell them what to do with their unborn baby, but what about the one person who will be affected by her decision, the unborn baby’s father.

Do women’s rights negate his rights? What happens when a woman gets an abortion without consent from the father? Can he stand by her decision because it’s her body or does he leave because he feels betrayed?

“My first reaction would be very irate due to having an abortion without my consent,” says one guy. “Yet, after calming down I would just want to know why she did it and what her reason behind it was. Her decision is her decision and if I truly love her as stated in the Bible, I will stay by her side.”

Of course you can’t mention abortion without mentioning religion. How big of a part could religion play in a relationship when abortion is the topic? A few other men brought up the Bible, but in a different way than just mentioned.

“I understand she has the right to get an abortion because it’s her body but the Bible says once we are married her body is my body and vice versa,” says one gentleman. “Her getting an abortion without consent opens up a whole lot of other issues we would have. If I truly loved her, I would try to stay but where would our relationship be afterwards? It definitely would not be in a good place.”

Joe says, “If my wife got an abortion without consent we would be over and done. It is the ultimate betrayal, it’s blatant disrespect, and I could never recover.”  

When asked if he agreed that it was her right and her decision, he said, “Yes, ultimately it’s her decision, according to our justice system she has the right, I can’t sue her because of my emotions and hurt feelings, but what women fail to realize is men too have dreams of kids and a family. Her having an abortion would kill my dreams. I would hope she would think of me also when making that decision behind my back, if she cares for me.”

The question is being asked hypothetically, and a lot of men are saying they would leave if their woman had an abortion without consent, but would they really? If you truly loved your woman and wanted to be with her it would seem that the two could work through anything, right?

“No, I believe most would leave. Abortion is already difficult for some couples to deal and it make it doubly hard without him knowing. I know literally 25 men (whose) girlfriends/wives had an abortion, half with their consent and the other without, and zero percent stayed together,” Joe continues. “Why did they break up? I don’t know, but I’m sure they couldn’t get over the betrayal, I know I couldn’t!”

One thing every man kept saying is they would wonder if the baby was theirs. With that being said, if it wasn’t their baby would they be relieved that she got an abortion without consent, or would that unleash an even more disastrous issue? Cheating!

“Everything would have been compromised and that is a deal breaker,” another man says. “There isn’t a large enough amount of counseling that could keep us together. It would be too much to get over. She would be really alone because I would leave and never comeback.”

There can be many reasons a woman decides to get an abortion and because of the law she doesn’t have to share her reasons with anyone, including the father.

These men feel there is no great enough reason a woman could have to excuse her from getting an abortion without consent, especially if she loves and respects him, she should include him on her decision.

Abortion will forever divide our country so it would make sense that it could divide a household.

Rivon is a contributing writer for Regal Black Men’s Magazine, a publication dedicated to the African American community.

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