Not a Piece of Clay

On the song “Piece of Clay,” R&B crooner Marvin Gaye sang, “Everybody wants somebody to be their own piece of clay, somebody to play with, wanna mold you…Shape you like they wanna, wanna to do their thing.”

Unfortunately, many parents like LaVar Ball treat their children like pieces of clay that they can mold into the people they want them to be. 


However, every child has their own personality, views and purpose and children can lose blessings if they are not allowed to be themselves and fulfill the purpose that God gave them before they were even born.

The father of the Ball family of professional basketball players recently created controversy when he stated that Lonzo Ball would not re-sign with the Los Angeles Lakers if the team does not sign his two younger brothers.

LaVar went on to clarify his controversial statement by saying that he just desires for all three of his sons to play on the same team.

People say other people do their best parenting before they become parents, so I am in no position to tell LaVar how to be a parent because I’ve never been a parent.

But I have been a child and I have great parents that did their best to raise me to become a positive young man.

However, many parents struggle to understand that their children are not their carbon copies and God did not put them on Earth to fulfill their earthly father’s plans for their life.

Every person is put on this Earth to fulfill God’s purpose for their life, and if LaVar continues to meddle with God’s plans, he might block the blessings of his sons Lonzo, LiAngelo Ball and LaMelo Ball.

I was fortunate enough to have parents that did not put too much pressure on me to be a carbon copy of them.

My parents know me well enough to know that even if they wanted me to be a carbon copy of them that it would not go over so well because I am a little more outspoken than Lonzo seems to be.

I have never had a problem telling my elders what I am or am not going to do.

My personality has been that way since elementary school and I do not see that changing anytime soon.

I get that character trait honest too because my mother was outspoken towards my grandparents when she was a child and she will still tell someone where to go and how to get there in a New York minute.

But while I did not face that much pressure because my parents were not that domineering, I have had to deal with domineering colleagues and graduate school professors who saw potential in me and took a liking to my work, but who falsely thought that they had a say-so in God’s plan for my life.

I have had people tell me what they expect from my online magazine.

I have had people tell me what they see for my television talk show.

And I have had people who tried to be a detriment to my career when I did not go along with their plans for my life.

While those people probably meant well, their plans are not God’s plans for my life.

Their plans are not even my plans for my life.

But even my plans do not matter when God has His own plans and purpose for my life.

If I followed someone else’s plans for my life or even my own, I would have never stumbled upon God’s countless blessings for my life and I would not reach my full potential.

Although LaVar probably means well by his boys he is going to block his sons’ blessings if he is not careful.

A parent or mentor’s job is to get a young person to the point where they are capable of fulfilling the calling on their life independently.

Their job is not to create a mini-me or a robot that they can live vicariously through.

Once a child is grown, it is elder’s job to not get in the way of their child becoming the man or woman that they were destined to become.


Parents and all other elders have to realize that a person is a person, designed for a unique purpose, and not a piece of clay to be shaped and molded into their design or to their liking.

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