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Know the Difference: Ladies Love Chivalry in Men, Not Thirst

by Renee Rivon

Being Thirsty Will Only Get You a Drink, Not a Girl

Men, when you approach a woman you like, she’ll put you in one of these categories; chivalrous or thirsty.

Do you know which category you mostly fall under?

I guarantee 98 percent of you are thinking chivalrous, right?

Well, be sure you are because the woman you are interested in more than likely hates “thirsty” or desperate men, and your actions may point towards thirst.

So, now I’m sure you are wondering how do I know if I am being thirsty?

Let me help you.  Here’s a quick quiz.

Can you honesty tell when a woman is really not interested, but you still continue to ask her out?

When you text her, does she text you back the next week?

When you ask her out does she always have an emergency?

Do you scream at her from across the way and address her by the color of her clothes, like “Say Green?”

If you answered yes to these questions, let me pass you a bottle of ice-cold water because you look thirsty!

Please allow me to give you some womanly advice on the do’s and don’ts of getting a woman interested in you.

When you first decide you are interested:

 

The Don’ts

1) If she pays you no attention, leave her alone. If she is rude and tells you to leave her alone, seriously, leave her alone. Don’t stalk her for the rest of the evening thinking you are charming and persistent. This is not a movie, it’s real life and in real life she thinks you are thirsty. And a little bit creepy!

2) Don’t give away all of your power. According to Askmen.com, “Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he'll give away his power in return for approval.” There’s no need to kiss up to her. You come off looking desperate and weak, and women love power and strength. You see how President Fitzgerald Grant (Tony Goldwyn) has Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington) running in circles on “Scandal!”

3) After she’s shown you no interest, don’t find out her name and look her up on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram thinking you can just hit on her there. Nope. Not only won’t it work, but also she may be close to calling the cops and naming you as a potential stalker.

4) If she is polite and talks to you, but then tells you she has a boyfriend, husband, or that she's married to Jesus, back off! If you find yourself in a conversation about how insignificant their significant other is, go sit down and drink your water because you sir are dying of thirst. I’ve been out and a man has approached me and after I kindly tell him I’m taken, I get upset when he’s trying to find ways for us to still see each other. And please retire the line, “We can just be friends.”

5) Once you do have her attention, don’t spend your next five or 10 minutes giving her your life story and how your mom is great just like Kevin Durant’s mom! You are giving her too much right away.  Askmen.com revealed, “The key to success with women is to reveal the least amount of interest possible while you're taking action to close the deal. Keep your mouths shut about your feelings and insecurities.” I must admit this is a big turn off. On a first phone chat with a guy I liked, for 40 minutes he told me his whole life story. After feeling like I was in a classroom, I rushed off the phone...I no longer liked him.

6) Don’t do pick up lines. Really! No explanation here. In 2014 we’ve heard them all, seen it in comedies, and no you are not genuine. She will take it as a joke, laugh, and avoid the hell out of you all night.

Once you get the don’ts down let’s find your inner-gentleman.

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines a gentleman as “a man who combines gentle birth or rank with chivalrous qualities.”

Men, it’s time to show these ladies that chivalry is not dead.

I know a few “brothers” are thinking, these women aren’t always ladylike; sad, but true.

However, if you are a gentleman with her, hopefully, she will be a lady with you.

 

The Do’s

1)          When you first approach her, all you have to say is “Hello, how are you doing?” Yes, it’s that simple.

2)          After talking for a bit and you want to compliment her, do be genuine. If she has a nice smile, tell her. No need to compare it to the sun, stars or other things it can’t truly compare to.

3)          Only tell her the gist of who you are. Then answer questions she may have about you and your life.

4)          Do find things you have in common and expound on that. If you both got whippings with the extension cords growing up, hey, that’s something to talk about!

5)          If you have the funds, do offer to buy her a drink, if you are in that type of setting. If she refuses, don’t take that as she’s not interested. Some women don’t accept things from men they just met. So don’t get offended, just simply say, “You sure?” Then, “OK.”

6)          Do be yourself! It’s better she sees the real you immediately; no need to wait. If you are outgoing, be the same fun-loving silly guy you always are. Trust me she will blush and talk about you to her friends later that night.

7)          Before you leave, get her contact information. Askmen.com advised, “Never leave without at least asking for her phone number or, less threatening, her e-mail address. People like e-mail because the communication isn't a live performance, and they can more naturally play the whole ‘make him/her wait’ game that's so popular with phone tag.”

8)          One piece of physical advice, do smell good and do have on nice shoes. Women love a man that smells good and has no holes in his shoes!

    Of course there is an exception to every rule.

    There’s a quote from an unknown author that stated, “The difference between persistence and a stalker is how much the woman is attracted to him.”

    Think about it.

    If Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson came up to most women and was thirsty, they would provide him with water for the rest of his life! We cannot ignore physical attraction.

    Writer David DeAngelo said, “Attraction isn't a choice. Attraction is an emotional and physical RESPONSE… and you can't ‘convince’ a woman to feel it with logic, gifts, and NICENESS.”

    Sometimes being the #1 gentleman won’t get you the date.

    She just may not be into you.

    However, one thing is certain whether the lady is taken or not interested, you can now say she won’t label you as thirsty.

         So when you do meet a good one, you will be ready to sweep her off her feet!

This article was published on Friday 16 May, 2014.
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